My debut novel THE BUSINESS OF DEATH will be released by Midnight Starling Press 8/19/14!
"obama is fuckin up"
"should have voted for the other guy"
how about "the government is fucking up and obama is nothing more but a figure head to take the heat of all the congress’s dumbass decisions" The president isnt a dictator. he doesnt get to choose 100000000% by himself what happens to this country, hence the term democracy.
"Those piercings and bright hair dye, it’s just a phase"
Do you think I’m going to wear the same kind of clothes until I die? Or use the same hairstyle for 60 years? Or like the same music? Everything changes and everything ends, life itself is just a phase, we all die eventually, but saying that doesn’t make it any less real or any less valid, it just makes you an asshole
Who wouldn’t want to work at Google? The whole HQ looks like an amusement park with FREE food 24/7 & if an employee of Google dies, their spouse will receive half their pay for 10 years as well as stock benefits, and any children will receive $1000 a month till they turn 19. Source
let me tell you a story about the google headquarters
so my uncle works for google and I went down to visit him once and he took my family on a tour of the google headquarters just for fun. there was tons of cool stuff and art and a random jungle themed room and the most crazy ass 360 degree google earth screen thing you ever saw
but you’d kind of expect all that right
but then I started to notice something kind of weird
there was a weird amount of rubber ducks? like. a WEIRD amount of rubber ducks. like typical yellow ones and camo ones and huge pink ones with bows and tiny donalds and pirates of the carribean themed ducks and bejeweled ducks with no explanation on nearly every surface
so i asked my uncle why there were so many ducks and this is what he said:
"google has a suggestion box for employees to use, and one time this guy got hired at google who had previously worked for another company. the other company also had a suggestion box but they never actually listened to any of the suggestions, so the new employee assumed that google would be the same way. so as a joke, he put a suggestion in the box at he google hq that said something along the lines of "great office but needs more rubber ducks." a week later, 5000 rubber ducks arrived in the mail"
google read this guy’s bullshit suggestion about ducks
and actually listened to it
AND ORDERED 5000 RUBBER DUCKS
What the fuck was wrong with men in the 60’s?
advertising is important as it’s the historian’s best resource for identifying the values of an era. but yeah, these were fucked. the 60s was generally as fucked as the 50s. people forget that.
It literally says ‘men are better than women’ in bold type, what the fuck. I knew this was a thing, but that is a lack of subtlety I couldn’t have written into a spoof…
This is the generation that spawned most of our parents… People our parents’ age run Washington. Starting to make sense?
When you look to the past, the struggles of the present become a great deal more clear.
14 years old: I’m young but I know what I want. This isn’t that hard, I’m all grown up already and have everything figured out.
17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?
30 years old: All is death and darkness and bills and despair. I think I’ll eat a poptart and watch some cartoons.
Those two comments made my day.
plot twist in which a new york man is not crushed comically by a piano, but instead saved from being crushed compassionately by multiple pianos
Every once in a great while, I will tell somebody “You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.”
…And then I’ll be sad, because they have no idea what I’m talking about.
I only gamble with my life, never my money.
The Mummy fandom on Tumblr is hella strong
What up mummy fandom I didn’t know existed! Loved this movie. Need to watch it again.
I quote “You’re on the wrong side of the river” constantly.
I’m going to grad school soon to be a librarian and I can’t wait to get drunk and quote all of Evy’s lines.
I’m an archaeology student and I recently re-watched this and the instant they made it clear that it was set in the 1920s I was completely cool with everything about it because archaeology in the 1920s was mostly drinking and blowing things up.
archaeology in the 1920s was mostly drinking and blowing things up
I was an archaeology student at the turn of the millennium and while drinking and blowing things up has been reduced in scope it is by no means gone. Especially the drinking.
Mm. I’m not sure there really are good or bad people.
I think there are people who do good or bad things. If you are one of the people who does bad things, then, don’t. Don’t do stuff that hurts other people or harms them or makes their life worse. Do good things instead. Volunteer. Be kind. Help. Look after yourself and look after other people — don’t try and beat them. Life’s not a battle you were put here to win: we’re all in this together, trying to help each other to muddle through as best we can. So help, if you can. And if you cannot help, then do no harm.
That’s what I’d do.